I have a bit of writer’s block, which comes in the form of difficulty concentrating, so right now it is hard for me to focus on writing or reading fiction. My mind keeps wandering and I find I need to walk or do busywork to keep myself from pacing up and down.
This restlessness is kind of puzzling. I might be subconsciously thinking that Donald Trump’s White House “reality show” might be coming to a climax, with all the news that is circulating around these days about him and his administration. It certainly feels that way to me.
I’ve dusted off a story concept and brief outline that I plan to work on if I find I really can’t continue my current novel-in-progress. I also have ideas for short stories that I think will help divert my attention from whatever it is that is bothering me so much, and more than once it has occurred to me that I might be borderline hypomanic. I have had some trouble sleeping last week and this week I have to take naps during the day in order to get enough hours of sleep.
Exercise, of course, helps, and I am trying to make sure I get enough.
The joys of being bipolar and trying to be consistently productive! It’s hard to differentiate my problems with sheer laziness, and sometimes I wonder if I don’t push myself hard enough. I’ve been very busy writing in my diary, so I do write- just nothing I can publish, not yet.
Someday, if I ever become famous, I may publish excerpts of my diary (it is far, far too long and difficult to parse for anyone but me to publish in its entirety- I use it mostly to untangle my thoughts and bipolar delusions, and figure out links between fragments of memory). Maybe. It’s more likely I will simply write poems or poetic passages and have someone illustrate them, because that will help convey what it’s like to experience on a daily basis what I feel and think about. Something like Jung’s Red Book but a lot easier to digest, I think. I figure that a paper book with illustrations combined with recordings (not necessarily of me, but of music that I think also is evocative) might work best. It occurs to me that lots of people like or need audiobooks, so maybe one is inevitable, if this idea succeeds and people are indeed curious about a bipolar mind.
Rereading my diary would certainly be interesting for me, though it would take probably months- I have thousands of pages of writing so far.
Have a wonderful day!