“You think you’re smart? I’m smarter than you. I own you.”
I looked at the cell phone in my hand. Who was this? For years I had endured strange calls. The ones from this voice were abusive. I was told I was making a lot of money for someone, that I was stupid, that my ideas were worthless, that they owned me, that I was their slave.
At the time, this was almost true.
I also shared phone calls with persons unknown about projects they were working on. Books, films, TV shows, personal problems that the anonymous people I could never identify wanted help with. I never heard back from any of them and I was never paid for any of the advice I gave- rather, I was never paid. I am sure that the anonymous abuser of mine, the woman I later identified as Evelyn, and her co-conspirators profited handsomely. I continued working quietly as a scientist, making very little in my academic job, wondering who was calling.
I was stalked, I was harassed and asked for my opinion of celebrities I was not familiar with, I was threatened, and I noticed problems with my paper mail, my voicemails, my emails, my social media messages, even my ability to access certain websites on the internet. I literally could not see some billboards or posters, or news articles. I literally could not hear some voices. I was being manipulated and abused in so many ways, and stolen from, mind-raped with brutal and abusive stage hypnosis, completely. This, after years of half-remembered actual rapes which stopped once I showed enough physical strength to defend myself, and enough presence of mind to be able to report some attacks. To this day I am not 100% certain all of them occurred, though I do know that I have endured real rapes which have given me traumatic nightmares, and I have figured out that some or all of these were arranged by Evelyn. She sold me to the man in the hotel in Vancouver, she sold me to random strangers invading my home, she manipulated my mind and what information I received so I never could identify her, and she stole, or tried to steal, almost everything I owned which had any value to me.
It has taken me about three years to finally remember her, to put her name to the face from my memories, to figure out how she manipulated, not just me, but her famous TV husband and everyone around us. And that was only because I became curious about his career, looked up his body of work, looked up his image- and there she was, next to him. I remembered her Tasering me. I remember her holding a brick and walking down some stairs after a man who said he wanted to help me, and I remember seeing that man in a pool of blood, face down, and asking passersby to call police (I had no cell phone then). I remembered her confessing to crimes, knowing I would not be able to remember, because that’s how I had been programmed. I remembered her coming up to me in public and asking me to pose for photos with her, which later became “evidence” of a friendly relationship.
Her stage hypnosis tricks were effective on me and I had no way to tell who she was, so much of the time, which allowed her to gain access to my keys, my homes, my workplaces, my computers, my phones, my mail… my entire life. She destroyed so many relationships of mine by pretending to be other people.
I see it now, I see her greatest work, which has been the attempted ruin of my life. I see her attempt to humiliate me by forcing me to talk about subjects I was unfamiliar with (TV, film, acting) with experts in the field, and to market me as “The Smartest Woman In The World”. It was her initial hope that people would seek me out and she could prove how ignorant I was of the profession she marketed me as an “expert” in. When I proved to actually have useful advice, she claimed credit, stole money or influence that should have been mine, and abused me.
I stopped responding to the anonymous calls and threats. I tried to warn people who called me that I was being abused and that the woman who had set me up for it was not to be trusted. Too often, I would hear her talk to me and then lie, skewing what I said, and years later I would see projects come out and flop, and I knew that if my actual advice had been followed, they would have had a better chance. I do not know if anyone heard me, any of the times I attempted warning.
I don’t know what happened to this image, this puppet, “The Smartest Woman In The World”, but I want you to know that I am the woman who used to be asleep- answering the phone, speaking, but asleep- behind her.
I am awake now.
The man from the hotel phoned me up more recently and asked to speak to “The Woman”. I reminded him about Vancouver, the attack I endured there when Evelyn trafficked me. He said I was “a very passionate young lady.” I did not need to know who he was to know he was a terrible man.
I see him. And I see you now, too, Evelyn.