One more week of counting spoons

My full-time hours at my paying job cease at the end of next week! I’m very pleased- in October and afterward I will be working part time for my current boss, remotely on an as-needed basis. This comes as a welcome relief. I’m lucky enough that I am being supported by my husband at the moment, and my income can be optional.

I’m planning a long vacation in Ohio, which is where my husband works. Now, Ohio is not really a locale which springs to mind as a vacation destination. For me, the ability to spend most nights with my husband make going there worthwhile.

If you are familiar with “spoon theory”, you’ll know that not everyone has the same amount of energy or other physical resources to get things accomplished. In my case, I’m bipolar, so I find it hard to marshal a lot of energy at least half of the time- like a lot of bipolar women, I am frequently depressed, though I’m happy to say that in the past year or so the depression has been fairly mild. This past week I’ve been exhausted most nights and finding it hard to wake up, and hard to get anything substantial done after dinner. When I have a good day where I have a lot of energy, I try to use it to get the things done that I meant to do earlier, when I had less energy.

The thing that makes me look forward to this vacation is not laziness, or a lack of interest in my current job, which I love- no, it’s having more free time and the freedom to work when I feel like it (or, when I have more energy), and the freedom to nap when I don’t (or, when I have less energy). I don’t really think of myself as disabled, because my illness is managed fairly well, but finding energy is something I struggle with most of the time. Not when I’m hypomanic, of course, but that state of being comes with its own challenges.

When it comes to writing, I haven’t done very much at all this year, and it’s mostly because I’ve been waiting for a solid chunk of uninterrupted time when I also have energy, and nothing else pressing to do. I suspect I will become more productive so long as I’m able to keep a firm cap on the number of hours worked at my job per week. I’ve been indulging myself in John Scalzi, Neal Stephenson, Gail Carriger and Stephen King novels here and there, because reading takes far less effort than writing. I’ve also been rereading old works of mine, and thinking: (1) wow, there are still errors that need fixing, and (2) I wonder what would happen if I added in this character’s back story, or changed this other plot element?

So I’m not even finished revising those works. This includes my already revised novel Perigee as well as my novel-in-progress, Anagama. I realize I do need editorial input if I’m going to take my work out of free self-publication and into the realm of paid work, but first things first. I want to spend a bit more time with my novels (and also write a draft of Infinity) before I start looking for an agent that can help me find a good editor.

I have one more week of counting “spoons”, and then as far as I’m concerned, I’m on vacation! I can’t wait.